To the unsung heroes in our lives. And in loving memory of my late father.
To the unsung heroes in our lives.
And in loving memory of my late father.
A father is a figure in a child’s life. A father is an ideal role model who a child looks up to. A father is a man who teaches us to live by example. He is a constant source of inspiration and motivation. The moment a man becomes a father, his responsibilities increase manifold. He becomes more serious, stops behaving like a young boy and let go of his childish pleasures.
A father strives relentlessly for his children from day one. They tend to put everything on hold just to take care of us. Sacrifice becomes an integrated phase of his life. He puts all his desires and needs to backseat and keeps himself hustling, fulfilling ours. We cannot even imagine the amount of his care and affection that he showers upon us all his life, yet he gets happy through every little loving gesture we made for him.
After becoming a parent, a couple’s life is centered around their little bundle of joy. A couple transforms into a mother and a father and everything that was before ‘us’ is now ‘our baby’. Throughout their life, parents dedicate their time directly or indirectly for their kids. Even relaxing after a busy day at work seems difficult as little baby is eagerly waiting to play with the parents the whole day. The ‘Me time’ is out of the schedule forever for a parent.
It may be even more so for a father. A father has to juggle between his work and his family. When a child comes to the father’s life, the father requires to take a lot of time out for the little one. Apart from working hours, all of his time is devoted to his lovely children. No matter how important other things are, he will surely take out time to play with his kids.
There is always something else that needs to be done and somewhere else you want to be. Then, you see those cute big eyes staring up at you. The only place you know you will be is right where they need you to be.
After my baby girl was born, I started losing a significant amount of sleep. It really took its toll on my health and sanity. Most new parents will miss out on some sleep and at least in the beginning. That is because most babies get their night and day muddled up for the first couple of weeks. The struggle is real.
Remember sleeping past 10 in the morning once upon a time? You are lucky to make it past 8 in the mornings. Sleeping in during the weekends seem like a fantasy. You will never be able to sleep well through the night or even to take afternoon naps on weekends.
When a child is born, she needs the utmost care. The baby tends to cry the most during the sleep hours, and she cannot be left ignored. It might be easy to shoo our child back to the mother. Afterall the baby tends to stick closer to the mother. But as a good father, we do not. A father sacrifices his sleep for the calm and comfort of his beloved child. We split the responsibilities, take turns to look after the baby, get up and play with her because that is the way we show our love to her.
Life was easier without responsibilities. We could do whatever we wanted. But nowadays, there are the little ones counting on us. The social life of the father takes a backseat after the baby is born. Sure, there may be occasions where we can have a boys night out. But most days, we will be stuck at home helping out with the chores and hanging out with family.
As parents, we curb all our freedom of choices for our children. Starting from their wardrobe, to the house décor, to the car, all are decided to suit the kid’s comfort or later are ruled by her choices. We could have pursue our hobbies, and to spend money the way we want. But we give up all choices for our children. So that they could succeed and live happier.
Once the baby grows up, schooling becomes the epicenter of parents to expand their social life. Many parents do volunteer work and help out in schools. So that their kids can enter into the more prestigious school. As they hope for the children to have a head start in life.
It is almost a dream come true when we are doing a job that we love. As the saying goes: Do what you’ll love, and you’ll never work another day in your life. But things change when a baby comes into our life.
As a hardworking and talented employee, there will naturally be opportunities. But the dilemma comes when the job offers requires you to travel frequently, or you need to be temporary outstation in another country, or you have to do odd work timings.
A father needs to make a choice between being present for their children and taking up a new position. The corporate ladder only needed to be climbed just so far. To keep climbing may require too much precious time away from your family. A father needs to be available for the children, and thus there may be sacrifices to be made.
A child needs care in every aspect. She needs love, pamper, togetherness, plus financial comfort. A father works hard so that his loved ones have what they need. A father saves money so that he can give his children the best education and lifestyle. Many of our decisions are financially driven. How we spend our money and how we save it.
This is true for most people when they become a parent. We have to consider the impact of our decisions on more than just ourselves. We are financially responsible for our children. It is expensive to have kids. In fact, they say a child from birth until 18 years of age will cost parents an average of $200,000 – $500,000 over the course of their childhood.
Many parents are financially supporting their children at the expense of their own financial wellness. There are some fathers who have actually sacrificed their financial security for the benefit of their children, Some of them have put their children’s interests ahead of their financial retirement needs.
Taking complete financial responsibility is considered to be among the best qualities of a good father. With good and proper planning, we can save for both retirement and our children’s education funds.
As a son, and now as a father, the more I go through parenting, the more I understand the sacrifices of my father. It is undeniable that there are times a father has to sacrifice more than a mother. And it is ironical that a father’s sacrifices are not glorified as we do in the case of mothers.
Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.
Happy Father’s Day to the world greatest dads.
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