The Top 6 Controversial Parenting Topic

Some parenting topics are guaranteed to elicit heated conversations and ruffle feathers. While these topics may be controversial in nature, let us remember to be kind to one another.

September 7, 2021

Some parenting topics are guaranteed to elicit heated conversations and ruffle feathers. 

Particularly when they are debated on social media, where everyone's borders are broken down. Many people speak things they would never say in front of another person.

The truth is that there is no manual for parenting, and we are all doing our best to figure out what works and, more importantly, what works for us. What works well for one family or with one child may not work at all for another.

The only certainty is that parenting is difficult enough without having to contend with other parents over the decisions you make for your children. 

These controversial topics can pit parents against one another, prompting many to become enraged and disturbed.

Breastfeeding VS Formula Feeding

The number one topic that is almost certain to elicit the most heated argument is whether babies should be breastfed or formula fed. At one extreme, 'lactivists' adhere fiercely to the phrase, 'Breast is Best.'

Those who choose bottle over boob for whatever reason are tired of feeling like they failed at the first hurdle of motherhood.

This dispute has raged since the invention of the formula, and we believe it will continue until the end of time.

Breastfed children, according to studies, may not always have an advantage over bottle-fed newborns. Other factors, such as parents' education level, influence our children's vocabulary and problem-solving abilities.

Babies require nutrition. Does it really matter if one mother prefers boob to bottle or vice versa?

It is completely inappropriate to pass judgment on mothers based on how they choose to feed their children. Enough is enough.

Pacifier VS Thumb

Parents often debate which is better for babies - pacifiers or thumbs. There are many studies that claim to be able to answer this question, but the evidence is mixed. There are two main points of view about this issue.

The first point of view is that pacifiers should always be avoided because they can lead to potentially dangerous dental problems. It is a well known fact that the use of a pacifier is discouraged in children. 

The second point of view is that thumbs should never be used because they can cause developmental problems in children's hands and fingers, not to mention some parents feel it’s just too difficult for a child to use their thumb on their own once they become mobile. The use of thumb sucking is also discouraged as it can lead to dental problems.

In summary, there are pros and cons of each method:

Pacifier- Studies show that use during sleep reduces the risk of SIDS- May have adverse dental effects if continued past age 2
Thumb- May reduce risk of SIDS though there is no evidence shown
- Always available
- May be a harder habit to break than pacifier use
- May expose child to more germs
- May have adverse dental effects if continued past age 2


The debate about whether or not these habits should be encouraged or discouraged has been going on for a long time. Though there are many parents who prefer one over the other, there still does not seem to be a clear answer as to which way should be taken.

Sucking is one of the most primitive reflexes that humans have. Many babies and toddlers use sucking not only as a means for getting food, but also for comfort.

Babies suck to soothe themselves, which is why many babies depend on pacifiers or thumbs. Neither is perfect, but remember that it is normal and the majority of kids will grow out from it.

Co-Sleeping VS Bed-Sharing

Bed-sharing means sleeping in the same bed as your baby, or sharing the same sleeping surface. Co-sleeping means sleeping in close proximity to our baby, sometimes in the same bed and sometimes nearby in the same room.

Bed-sharing is controversial due to the conflicting opinions on the topic. Advocates say that bed sharing makes it easier to breastfeed at night and helps babies and parents get more sleep overall. Some believe that bed-sharing with babies is a good way to bond with them and the added snuggle time can help us feel closer to our baby too.

But as good as it may sound, bed-sharing is not a healthy practice. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warns against bed-sharing because it increases a baby’s risk for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). Ultimately, there’s no such thing as safe bed-sharing, and we should never sleep in bed with our baby.

The safe way to co-sleep with our baby is to room-share - where our baby sleeps in our bedroom, in her own crib, bassinet or playard. In fact, the AAP recommends room-sharing with our baby until she’s at least 6 months old, and possibly until her first birthday.

Baby Walker VS Push Walker

A Baby Walker is a device that is designed to give babies mobility while they're learning to walk. 

However it can cause serious injuries. The American Academy of Pediatrics urges parents not to use baby walkers.

For example, babies who use baby walkers might:

  • Trip and fall over
  • Roll down stairs
  • Get into dangerous places that would otherwise be difficult to reach

Research also suggests that use of baby walkers does not help the process of learning to walk. Instead, baby walkers eliminate the desire to walk.

A push walker, on the other hand, is a completely different toy that can support babies natural development and be a fun tool in their journey towards walking.

Firstly, babies can use a push walker to pull themselves up to standing which is an important part of learning to balance and walk. They will probably want to use us or the sofa to pull themselves up, to begin with, but a push walker is essentially just another great bit of furniture as far as babies are concerned.

Just make sure you are there to make sure the walker does not tip.

Secondly the fact that they are not sitting in the walker allows them to drop back down on their bottoms when they lose their balance. Sitting in a baby walker leaves them dangling which can damage both their spine and hips. Sitting unassisted builds strength and develops muscles needed for walking and balance.

Thirdly, babies can see their feet which is vital when learning to walk.

And finally they can let go.

A push walker also tends to support walking and development in other ways as well. It can also be fun long before a baby can stand and walk and will encourage sitting and crawling which are both important developmental milestones.

Cry-It-Out VS No Tears

Every exhausted new parent wants to know when the endless night time wakings will end. And that’s when sleep training comes into play.

With so much disagreement and confusion about how to sleep train a baby, parents often find themselves wondering: Cry-it-out or No tears?

The Cry-It-Out method is the most popular and widely-used sleep training technique in the world. It involves letting your child cry himself to sleep at night. It is possible that this will make him uncomfortable and unhappy for an extended period of time. While some children get used to it quickly, it may take weeks or months before your baby's sleeping habits improve significantly.

However, there are some people who think that using this technique makes them feel like bad parents, which can be psychologically damaging to their self-esteem and emotional well being.

No Tears involves teaching your baby how to sleep without crying by implementing a reward system and gentle guidance.

As with any method, what works for one child might not work for your baby. So figuring out an approach that's right for your family could take some trial and error. The main thing is to have a routine and keep it consistent for any method to work.

Self Reliant VS Provide Them All

The time has come to decide if we want to provide our children with everything they need or if we want them to learn what they need to do to go out in the world and find what they need.

Some are saying that by providing our children with everything they need, we are creating a generation of people who will never know how hard life can be. Others say it is important for children to learn how to do things for themselves so that when life gets tough, they have something inside them that will help them get through it.

According to studies, providing our children everything they want may have a greater impact on their development than you may think. Trying to safeguard children from experiencing frustration can lead them to become spoiled and ill-mannered. As a result of this type of upbringing, our children may grow up believing that they can get whatever they want without making an effort.

As parents, we want the best for our children. That being said, there should be a balance in the things we provide for them. At the end of the day, we ought to teach them the right values in life and they can be self reliant and independent.

With that in mind, it is even more essential to start planning for ourselves and our children, so that we can prioritize the important things to cater for. For e.g. Our own retirement and our kids' education.

Start planning now.

Every parent is dealing with issues and child behavior that we may know nothing about.

While these topics may be controversial in nature, let us remember to be kind to one another.

Junwen Chen

My mission is to educate and empower people to design their lives so that they can live in abundance.

Let me partner with you, to design and nurture your dreams and ultimate life goals.

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